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Dating gets a bad rap, even in the best of circumstances. Nothing heightens our self-awareness more than making nervous small talk over a shared meal with a virtual stranger or taking part in an awkward dance around who pays the bill. And while dating can bring out the best in us, it can also magnify our insecurities to the extent that it feels like we’re walking around with them listed in neon markers on our foreheads for everyone to see.
For someone with hair loss and who wears a wig, dating can present an extra set of concerns surrounding whether or not you tell your date you’re wearing hair.
Do you let them know from the outset?
Do you wait to see if your date lasts beyond the first awkward meeting to tell them?
Is waiting until the third, fourth, or fifth date more appropriate?
You might decide to never share such personal information, but if you do decide to tell them, how exactly do you do it? The train of thought and anxious self-talk can be never-ending.
While telling others that you wear hair is a personal choice only you can make, let’s talk about the tricky side of dating while experiencing hair loss and wearing a wig. In this article, we’ll discuss what might impact your decision to tell your date you’re wearing a wig, when you might want to reveal it, and how to tell them if that’s what you decide to do.
Here at Daniel Alain, we make the most luxurious human hair wigs on the market and we’ve been seeing the impact that finding the perfect wig has on our customers for over two decades. We know that finding the hair of your dreams can bring renewed self-confidence and inspire you to live life to the fullest. We hope that by reading this article, you’ll feel less alone in your journey and have some clarity about how to approach the subject of wearing wigs on future dates.
When to tell your date you’re wearing a wig
Ashley Demshki lost her hair at 14 months old and has been wearing wigs since kindergarten. “Because of that,” Ashley confesses, “I went through all the normal life experiences in a wig. And that includes dating.”
Ashley suffers from alopecia universalis - total hair loss, and wearing wigs has been a normal part of her life for as long as she can remember. “One of my biggest fears growing up was being rejected because I didn’t have hair,” she admits.
Wearing wigs has never held Ashley back from fully embracing life and participating in the opportunities that came her way. When it came to revealing her wig-wearing to others, it was always a personal decision, but not something she shied away from. “When dating, honesty is the best policy. But that doesn’t mean you have to tell someone on the first date that you’re wearing a wig,” she says. “Whenever you decide to tell someone you’re wearing a wig, if they’re not supportive and accepting, they’re simply not the right person for you.”
Now blissfully married with a growing family, Ashley recalls what it was like to share intimate details about herself with others. “Sharing your hair loss story is super personal and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you’re not ready to share it with the person you’re dating, then don’t. You’ll know when the time is right. You’ll feel it.”
How to tell your date you’re wearing a wig
When the time does feel right to tell the person you’re dating about your hair loss or the fact that you wear a wig, you may still feel anxious and vulnerable. While you may not feel comfortable enough to boldly remove your wig in one fell swoop, being able to communicate your thoughts and feelings despite the nerves, is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Find a quiet moment to tell your date about your hair loss diagnosis or your wig-wearing. It’s ok to admit you’re nervous about what they’ll think about this new information. Offer them the opportunity to ask questions. Their support and reassurance will tell you everything you need to know about the kind of person they are and whether it’s worth investing more time and emotions into them.
“If they don’t accept you,” says Ashley, “then you know they’re not the right person for you.”
If telling your date outright that you suffer from hair loss fills you with dread, you can always try the less direct approach Ashley used when she met her husband. Growing up, Ashley had many friends who, like her, also suffered from alopecia. Posting photos to her social media accounts of her and her friends was an easy way to break the ice and allowed her future husband to see her with and without wigs from the outset.
“When I met my husband, he already knew I had hair loss because I had been posting it on my social media channels. I didn’t have to have a sit down conversation with him and, as he says, he went into it with eyes wide open. When I showed him my bald head, it wasn’t a big deal at all.”
It’s ok to not reveal you’re wearing a wig
Of course, there are times you won’t want or need to reveal the fact that you’re wearing a wig to your date. If you’re in the very early stages of meeting someone or if it’s a first date and you’re just starting to put yourself out there, there’s no reason to reveal intimate details about yourself. It’s ok to wait until you know a potential partner better.
“If you’re on a date and you’re worried they’re going to notice you’re wearing a wig, I have a secret for you,” says Ashley, “they’re not going to notice.”
As Ashley suggests, the secret to success is confidence. “If you feel your best, no one is ever going to know that you’re wearing a wig and confidence will exude from you. Feeling confident and powerful will ensure you’re going to have a great time on your date.”
Is a human hair wig right for me?
Dating can make you feel vulnerable and nervous at the best of times, but having an insecurity that you don’t feel comfortable sharing, can make it even harder. The idea of dating while experiencing hair loss or wearing a wig can be extra daunting and deciding whether or not to share this personal information with your date may leave you feeling uncomfortable and fearing rejection.
Feeling confident about how you look comes from within. Everyone has insecurities and things they’d rather not share about themselves on a first date, but looking the part will help you feel the part. Feeling confident in your wig, knowing that it looks natural and sits securely on your head will give you one less thing to worry about.
If you’re interested in the human hair wigs that Ashley wears, you can find out more about the best wigs for total hair loss. If you’d like to find out more about the full collection of Follea wigs by Daniel Alain, you can book an appointment for a consultation with one of our experienced consultants. We would be happy to guide you through the process of finding the right wig for you and can answer all your questions.
Suffering from hair loss and finding a way to manage it as you navigate the world of dating is hard enough. Finding the perfect wig doesn’t have to be.